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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22999990">Let's Hear It For the Boys</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRLoftis/pseuds/SRLoftis'>SRLoftis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Bisexuality, Brooklyn, Brooklyn hipsters, Coney Island, F/F, M/M, Manhattan, Modern AU, New York City, Questioning Sexuality, coarse language, pretentious coffee opinions, so many bisexuals though seriously, we don't get enough representation so I made some myself where almost everyone is bi pretty much</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:27:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>11,470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22999990</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRLoftis/pseuds/SRLoftis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Four reasons why Rose Ely is not a couples' therapist and one consequence of treating her like she is.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Racetrack Higgins &amp; Original Female Character, Spot Conlon &amp; Original Female Character, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Let's Hear It For the Boys</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just a little thing I wrote a while ago that I thought I might go ahead and post. Spot and Race are more or less modern versions of their '92 counterparts, but Katherine is obviously also present, so I guess it's sort of a hybrid thing.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“So… I might have a problem.”</p><p>Rose sighed and rolled her eyes. “When don’t you?”</p><p>“Okay, you don’t have to be mean about it.” Race popped the bottle of champagne and began to pour her half a glass of it.</p><p>“Fill it up, you know I don’t like orange juice.”</p><p>“Rose, it’s 10am, you can’t have straight champagne at 10am. This was why the mimosa was invented, to make day drinking acceptable.”</p><p>She raised her eyebrows at him in challenge. “Watch me drink straight champagne at 10am.” He just rolled his eyes and filled her glass. “What’s your problem this time?”</p><p>“Well. You know how I’m bi AF?”</p><p>She let out a burst of laughter at the comment. “If by ‘bi AF’ you mean literally the most flaming bisexual man I’ve ever met in my life, then yes, absolutely, I know how you’re bi AF.”</p><p>Race cringed and poured himself a champagne too. He needed the full alcohol content, he wasn’t going to dilute it with orange juice just now. Maybe Rose had a point actually.</p><p>“You’re welcome for that idea,” she said pointedly.</p><p>He ignored her and said, “Well, I have a <em> problem</em>.”</p><p>Rose’s eyes went wide and she bit her lip to keep a smile off her face. “Oh no. You’ve fallen for one of our friends, haven’t you?”</p><p>Race grimaced. Why was he so transparent to her? Only she could extrapolate that information from a couple of simple innocuous statements and a certain tone of voice.</p><p>Rose tried very hard not to laugh at his facial expression. She didn’t want to torture him, he was obviously agonising over his new found feelings. He was her family, and she was his, and the other newsies, they were family too. This was no doubt immeasurably hard for him.</p><p>“Can I guess?”</p><p>He gave a long suffering sigh, resigned to the inevitable. “You may.”</p><p>“Ummm, is it Skittery? Because god knows with that body… although, if we’re going to talk about bodies, then it could be Mush. In which case you a hundred per cent have a serious problem. Although Skittery is probably the straightest person I know, so that would also be a problem.” She raised an eyebrow in question at him, as though her ranting hadn’t been the thing keeping him from responding in the first place.</p><p>He took a deep breath. “Oh believe me, I a hundred per cent have a serious problem. But it’s not Skittery and it’s not Mush.”</p><p>“Is it someone who’s already in a relationship?” She took an intrigued sip of her champagne, watching him closely over the rim of her glass.</p><p>“No. He’s not in a relationship.”</p><p>Her eyes darted around, flitting from nothing in particular to nothing else as she thought. “So not Jack or David, not Blink or Mush, not Bumlets. Itey and Snitch haven’t been in the state for months, so it’s unlikely to be either of them, because you would have told me about it last time they were here if it were.” She pursed her lips in deep thought.</p><p>“Can’t I just tell you? This is torturous.”</p><p>“No wait, is it Les? Because he might still be too young for you. I mean, I know he’s like, 23 now or something, and you’re only 26, but it still seems weird to me for some reason? Maybe because he’s like, the little bro. Is it Les? Is that why it’s a problem?”</p><p>Race sighed again and shook his head, downing half his champagne glass in one go. With all the quick eliminating she was doing, she’d be at the truth momentarily. “It’s not Les.”</p><p>“Oh no. Race.”</p><p>Yep. It had only been a matter of time. There were only so many mutual friends of theirs he could have been referring to.</p><p>“I know. You don’t have to say it. I’m a big fucking idiot,” he deadpanned, avoiding her eye as he sculled the rest of his champagne. “How could this happen, after so many years of purely platonic friendship? Why now? What changed? etc. etc. and <em> oh yeah</em>, he’s super straight. I know it all.”</p><p>Rose lifted her hand to cover her mouth in shock. Never in a million years had she thought all of their teasing and whispering and joking behind Race’s back would ever turn out like this. “Race, I can’t believe…”</p><p>“<em>I know</em>!” he screamed at her, as much as screaming was appropriate when he knew too loud an outburst would immediately alert their apartment neighbours on either side and above and below them. “I’m a fucking moron. I know. I don’t know how I let this happen. I don’t have an answer.”</p><p>“But Race… <em> Spot</em>? Of all people? Spot Conlon?”</p><p>He looked at her, unappreciative. “You say that like he’s a bad guy. He’s one of <em> your </em> best friends.”</p><p>“It’s not that!” she was quick to assure him. “It’s just… come on Race, surely you <em> know</em>.”</p><p>“Know what?” To her surprise, Race looked genuinely perplexed by her comment.</p><p>“About… y’know, about how we all… talk about you two.”</p><p>“Me and <em> Spot</em>??” he said, absolutely floored by all appearances. This stumped Rose completely.</p><p>“You can’t be serious. I never realised in a million years you were that oblivious!”</p><p>“You’re shitting me. You’re making fun of me and it’s a shitty joke to play,” he said, looking at her for any break, any flinch in her face.</p><p>She raised her hands in defense, to indicate her innocence “Race, I’m dead serious! We’ve been on about you and Spot since the day we met him!”</p><p>He narrowed his eyes. “He’s <em> straight</em>. Why would any of you ever… I don’t believe you.”</p><p>“I fucking swear!” she insisted. “And we know he’s straight. But it was a running joke. You know, with Jack and Davey getting together, and then Blink and Mush… and it always seemed like you and Spot were the next logical conclusion, and then, well, me and Kath happened and that sent everyone fucking nuts. Because… well, Katherine always thought she was straight too, yeah?”</p><p>Race put his head in his hands. “No. Rose, don’t do this to me.” This could not be happening. “Don’t get my hopes up about this. It’s… it’s not… it can’t… it’s not like that with me and Spot. It never has been. You were supposed to talk me out of this stupid crush, not make it sound sensible.”</p><p>“I’m sorry!” Rose said, but she was fighting a smile. “It’s just that… we’ve all been talking about it for so long, and I never thought you’d actually ever <em> have </em> real feelings for Spot. I mean, you guys have known each other forever. I always thought you’d have gotten over it before we ever even met the two of you, and it’d be a funny story you told people or something.”</p><p>Race rolled his eyes. “Except I never told you any funny story of the sort, so I don’t know where you got that idea.”</p><p>“You guys are so close, I just figured you’d already gone through the awkward phase of one of you crushing on the other.” She shrugged. “And obviously you’d be the one crushing, because he’s straight. Or, well, he says he’s straight.”</p><p>“Don’t do that!” Race insisted, finally raising his head from his hands to glare at her. “I don’t need you getting my hopes up for something that’s useless and stupid. I’ve known him since we were awkward preteens Rose, if anyone knew he was a closeted gay, it’d be me.”</p><p>Rose raised her eyebrows and looked away from Race. “I’m not saying he’s a closeted gay. No one’s saying that. We just think he might be… Racesexual.”</p><p>“He’s 25, and he’s known me since he was 10, don’t you think he’d have figured out if he were ‘Racesexual’ by now?”</p><p>Rose shrugged. “I think it would have made a lot of sense for Katherine to know she was gay as fuck before the age of 24, but she didn’t. I’d have thought it was obvious to Blink and Mush how in love they were the moment they met, but they didn’t get together till after we graduated. It even took Jack and Davey a year of skirting around each other while shamelessly flirting. We’re not a bunch of people who have a great track record with knowing what we want.”</p><p>Race needed another glass if they were going to keep having this conversation. He poured it as he spoke. “None of you knew each other for fifteen years beforehand either. If Spot was remotely attracted to me, I’d know it.”</p><p>Rose raised her eyebrows again. “I doubt Spot has any inkling at all that you have a big ol’ crush on <em> him</em>. Just saying.”</p><p>“God, I hope not,” Race said, looking sick and taking another sizeable swig from his glass. “Oh my god, what if he does know? Oh my god Rose, what am I gonna do??”</p><p>Race’s eyes showed a level of panic Rose hadn’t been expecting. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked at him seriously for a moment. “Oh my god, this isn’t just a crush, is it? You’re genuinely torn up over this.”</p><p>Race cringed and finished his second glass of champagne in one gulp. “I don’t know. I don’t know, okay? All I know is, I’ve suddenly started thinking about all these new things I wanna do with Spot and it’s not normal and I– don’t give me that look,” he said, as Rose raised her eyebrows and smirked suggestively. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, it’s some of what I meant, obviously, but I’m also talking about just like, holding hands, and sleeping in a bed together, and running my fingers through his hair and– oh god, you’re right, this is very bad.”</p><p>Rose reached across the table and took his hand. “It’s super cute though, in case you were wondering. So there’s that.” She gave him an overly optimistic expression but he just sighed.</p><p>“What the hell am I going to do?”</p><p>“How the fuck am I supposed to know Race? I’m not your fucking therapist, and apparently everything I’ve said so far has only made it worse, so I think I should just shut up.” She leant back in her chair and finished off her own glass of champagne, reaching for the bottle to pour herself another one. “I am not one to counsel on being in love with your best friend.”</p><p>He frowned. “You’re the <em> best </em> person to counsel on that. You have experience!”</p><p>“Yeah! Bad experience! Experience that I handled terribly! Luckily for me, Katherine is a more sensible human being than I am and decided to make me stop being an idiot.”</p><p>“Can’t argue with that,” he agreed, “but what did you do all that time, when you thought your feelings were unrequited?”</p><p>“Race, you were there,” she said, enunciating her words like he was dumb. “You know what I did. I slept around. I tried to move on. I dated other people. It doesn’t matter, none of it worked!”</p><p>Race sighed. That was true. She’d ended up back where she started, he supposed. But maybe if he nipped this in the bud now, he could hope to banish his feelings before he got to the place Rose had found herself in. Because he didn’t have even an ounce of hope that he’d be lucky enough to get as happy an ending as she had.</p><p>“So what you’re saying is, lurking on Tinder <em> isn’t </em> going to help me get over him?”</p><p>She shrugged again. “It can’t hurt.”</p><p>“God, make a decision woman.” He massaged his temple in stress.</p><p>“I can’t,” she said. “I want him to be into you so badly, my judgement is clouded.”</p><p>“Well get the fuck around to unclouding it and tell me when you have an answer,” he said, the impatience leaking into his fingers as he tapped on the glass tabletop.</p><p>“Alright, okay! Jesus, I get it.”</p><p>“And don’t tell anyone else. Not Bumlets, not Katherine, no one.”</p><p>Her eyes turned to the size of saucers and her mouth dropped open. “Why did you tell me then? I can’t keep secrets from either of them! Are you doing this to torture me??”</p><p>“Contrary to your current beliefs, not everything’s about you. Just don’t tell anyone. If you tell Katherine, Spot will know by the end of the day, and that’s the last thing I need.”</p><p>“Okay, alright, fine,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I won’t tell anyone.”</p><p>“Promise me.”</p><p>“Yeah, I promise, okay?”</p><p>He nodded and turned his attention to his phone. He needed a distraction from this conversation. Rose picked up her own phone and pretended she didn’t know he was escaping having to talk any further about this. She understood his need to leave it there. The year and a half she’d pined after Katherine unrequited had been a living hell, so she could definitely see where Race was coming from.</p><p>But dammit if she wasn’t going to bring this up with Spot at yoga later.</p><p>-</p><p>“How was brunch?” Katherine said as she came through the door, not bothering for a hello. She’d seen Rose only hours beforehand, when they’d both woken up in her apartment.</p><p>“Brunch was good,” Rose said, looking up at her girlfriend with a smile. “Bumlets couldn’t make it, he had a rehearsal, but Race and I had a good catch up.” Katherine leant down over the back of the couch to kiss Rose, though Rose was distracted typing away at her laptop and only gave Katherine a distracted peck in return. Katherine smiled. She didn’t mind when Rose got like this, provided it wasn’t for days on end, which had been known to happen.</p><p>“What are you working on?”</p><p>Rose turned her attention to Katherine then, a sheepish grin on her face. “Something.”</p><p>Katherine laughed at the expression. “Okay, I’m going to assume ‘something’ means ‘not what I should be working on’.”</p><p>Rose shrugged. “That depends. Technically, I’m supposed to be working today, because I have two chapters I have to have back to one of my authors by tomorrow at 10, which I’ve barely started. But I was feeling inspired, so I’ve been working on my… novel a bit.” Rose hated using that word, but that’s what Katherine had been calling the monumental whatever-it-was that Rose had been working on for over a year now. It made sense to call it a novel, but that felt too much like something, and for Rose, this couldn’t be something, or she’d never want to work on it. It would feel too much like a job.</p><p>Katherine walked around and collapsed onto Rose’s couch, letting her bag drop to the floor by her feet. She folded one leg up onto the couch and stared intently at Rose for a moment, as she often did when she was trying to read Rose’s moods.</p><p>“So you’re procrastinating by doing something else productive. What’s the harm?”</p><p>“Well, writing this isn’t exactly part of my job description Kath,” Rose said, gesturing to her computer. “And if I don’t have the chapters done by tomorrow, we’re going to be even more behind on the publishing deadlines for the novel. And that’s not supposed to be the editor’s fault.”</p><p>“Firstly, you’re a junior editor, you’re allowed to make mistakes sometimes. They’re not paying you enough to expect perfection all the time.” She raised her eyebrow in consternation, not wanting to get into another argument over salaries, but wanting to express her disapproval of Rose’s job conditions. “Secondly, didn’t this particular author get those chapters to you a week late anyway? That’s definitely not your fault.” Rose shrugged and Katherine reached out and took one of Rose’s hands, lacing their fingers together.</p><p>“So you’ll stay up all night and finish them. You work better that way anyway. You’ve been struggling to get words out for your novel for weeks; if you’ve got inspiration, you should use it.”</p><p>Rose smiled at her girlfriend. Katherine was a saint. While she didn’t remotely understand Rose’s creative processes or her need for fiction as an outlet, she could appreciate – and actively encouraged – the drive behind the desire to write at any given moment. It was one of the things they both loved and loathed about their relationship. Two writers meant excellent communication, but it also meant passion and volatility and creative strops, and a thousand other issues.</p><p>Katherine resituated herself on the couch more comfortably and leaned her head on Rose’s shoulder. “So what got you so inspired to write today? You’ve barely touched that thing since last month.”</p><p>Rose sighed. She hated lying to Katherine. “You know how I get. When I’ve got other, time-sensitive stuff on my hands that I don’t feel like doing, the ideas flow straight from my brain onto the page.”</p><p>“Mm,” was all Kath said in reply.</p><p>“Long day?” Rose asked. Kath just nodded and shut her eyes for a moment. Rose didn’t want to disturb Katherine’s resting spot with her typing, but she knew what she’d gotten into when she’d put her head there, so Rose continued.</p><p>In actual fact, it had been Race’s predicament with Spot that had urged this particular bout of creativity. Her characters had been struggling to connect, but Spot and Race’s relationship always served as an interesting model for her characters’ relationships. They had such a dynamic friendship. And now this. But she couldn’t explain this to Katherine just then, because she’d promised Race she wouldn’t say anything, and if she started down that path, she knew Kath would have it all out of her in a matter of minutes.</p><p>After a few minutes of silence, save the familiar tapping of Rose’s keys, Kath said, “Are you still going to yoga tonight?” Her voice was low and begrudging. She hated Rose’s yoga classes.</p><p>“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”</p><p>Katherine sighed. “I was just vainly hoping you’d decided not to. So I guess I’m doing dinner on my own.”</p><p>“Unless you can wait till I get back, yeah.” While Rose lived with Bumlets and Race, she and Kath rarely ate dinner without the other, which was made easier by the fact that Katherine lived in the same building, with Jack and David. She’d been asking Rose to move in with her since about two months into their relationship, but Rose was trying to take things slow, no matter how determined Katherine was to keep things moving at the speed of light. (She’d told Rose she loved her after their third date, after all.)</p><p>“I’ll be starving by then.” The whine in her voice was an obvious ploy to get Rose to renounce her yoga class and declare she’d stay in for dinner.</p><p>“Then don’t wait for me,” Rose said instead. Katherine sighed.</p><p>“I don’t get why you have to go all the way to Brooklyn for that stupid hipster yoga class anyway, there are ten yoga classes within a mile of here,” she added.</p><p>Rose just snorted and rolled her eyes. “Because none of my friends who live in Manhattan will agree to go with me, and I don’t like doing yoga alone. Spot is my only hipster asshole friend, so Brooklyn yoga it is.”</p><p>Katherine jerked her arms dramatically. “Yeah, that’s because yoga is the worst, and we all know it. I <em> hate </em> yoga.”</p><p>“I know you do,” Rose said, still amused. “That’s why I don’t ask you to come anymore.” She moved one hand from her keyboard and stroked Katherine’s fringe out of her face affectionately. “We can get dessert or drinks or something afterwards if you want, and then come back here. You can stay over.” She waggled her eyebrows at her girlfriend.</p><p>“Ugh, but it’s so awkward when you have Bumlets in the bedroom right beside yours,” Kath insisted. “We really should just get our own place.”</p><p>“I’m not ready for that,” Rose said with exasperation. They’d had this conversation a million times in the last six months. “And Bumlets is staying at Santi’s tonight, he already told me.”</p><p>“But… Race will be here though.”</p><p>“He’s on the other side of the apartment, and he wears earplugs to bed.” She stroked Kath’s forehead again. “Please? I miss you.”</p><p>Katherine sighed, giving in. “Just saying, we wouldn’t have this issue if we just moved in together.”</p><p>“Or if you were less modest,” Rose said with a shrug. “It’s not as if Bumlets or Race care. Or Jack or David for that matter. God knows they’re not the least bit considerate of you in that regard.”</p><p>“That’s not the point.” Katherine punctuated with a pout but let Rose continue to stroke the hair off of her face. It was soothing. “How long till yoga?”</p><p>Rose darted a look at the clock in the kitchen. “I gotta leave in forty minutes.”</p><p>“Well, no one’s home now.”</p><p>She smiled and pulled her hand away from Kath’s face. “I’m too inspired right now. But later, I promise.” She turned her attention to her girlfriend and kissed her affectionately on the forehead with a smile before returning to her keyboard and the not-novel she was working on.</p><p>-</p><p>“I brought coffee,” was the first thing Spot said as Rose joined him on the street and they walked towards their usual yoga studio.</p><p>“Kath’ll kill you for that, I’ll be wired all night now.” She took it from him and had a sip, her eyes closing in bliss. “But <em> oh </em> is this good shit worth it.” She nudged Spot in the side. “Nobody makes coffee like you, I swear.”</p><p>He smirked. “Hence the coffee shop where I work.”</p><p>“If you worked in Manhattan I could come see you every morning. It would be incredible.” She stole a leaf from Race’s book and kissed her fingertips in the Italian signifier of pure perfection.</p><p>Spot just laughed. “Someone’s hanging around Race too much.”</p><p>She shrugged. “Eh, what can I say? Kath’s always at work these days and he’s around and I’m around so we hang.”</p><p>“Well I’m not leaving Brooklyn, returning to your previous point. You can forget it.”</p><p>“One day I’ll get to you.”</p><p>“Or I’ll get to you,” he said with a grin. She rolled her eyes.</p><p>“Unlikely.”</p><p>“Real estate’s still cheaper in Brooklyn, you and Kath could get a nice little place just the two of you,” he said, attempting to entice her.</p><p>“Katherine is the person to use that on, I have no interest in moving in with her.”</p><p>“What? Really?” Spot seemed shocked by this revelation.</p><p>“That came out wrong,” Rose said with a sigh. “I mean not right now. Not yet. Eventually, yeah. But not soon.”</p><p>“Oh, right.”</p><p>“Why the push anyway?” she said, shoving him with her shoulder again.</p><p>“I’m lonely,” he said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “And if you pass that onto a single soul I’ll kill you. But I miss having people around.”</p><p>Rose rolled her eyes. “You know the logical conclusion is for <em> you </em> to move, not all of us.”</p><p>“Says you,” he said. “But I’m never leaving Brooklyn.”</p><p>She smirked. “That’s what Race said.”</p><p>Spot narrowed his eyes and smirked. “Oh Racetrack Higgins will be back, make no mistake.”</p><p>That made Rose laugh, partly in response to her conversation with Race from that morning. “You seem sure of yourself.”</p><p>“I know Race, better than any of you, and he will always be Brooklyn at heart.”</p><p>“Alright, whatever, I’m not gonna argue with you,” Rose said with an eyeroll.</p><p>He snorted and said, “Because you know you’ll lose.”</p><p>She didn’t respond. They walked in companionable silence for a minute or so, though Spot’s face betrayed that he was thinking through something in the meantime.</p><p>“Don’t break your brain. What’s up?” Rose said after a minute.</p><p>“I… don’t know if I should talk about it.”</p><p>Rose smelled a juicy bit of gossip, and nothing was going to stop her from getting to the bottom of it now that she’d caught a whiff.</p><p>“No, out with it. You can’t make faces like that and entice me and then not tell me,” she insisted. “Come on, spill.”</p><p>Spot sighed quietly and looked down at the pavement. “It’s… weird.”</p><p>“Have you spoken to Race about it?” she asked curiously. The two of them normally shared everything.</p><p>“No!” he said immediately, looking at her in alarm. “No, I can’t! That’s why… I thought maybe I could talk to you about it.”</p><p>What could he possibly have to say that he couldn’t say to Race? Her conversation with the man himself from this morning came back to her. There was no way it could have anything to do with that. Unless he <em> had </em> somehow figured out Race was into him, and gods help her if that were the case, because how was she supposed to keep her mouth shut through that?</p><p>“What is it Spot?” She stopped walking for a second and he halted beside her. She reached her hand out to his arm in concern. “Is everything okay?”</p><p>“Yes. No. I don’t know! I’m confused.”</p><p>Rose gave him a confused questioning look. “It’s something you can’t tell Race and you’re confused, and you seem distressed which is unusual for you. What’s going on?” She gasped dramatically. “Are you having actual human emotions that you’re too embarrassed to share with anyone else, is that what’s happened?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes and gave her an unappreciative eyebrow raise. She laughed, but he just looked at the pavement and scuffed his foot against it.</p><p>She gasped. “You are! Oh my god, somebody call the paparazzi, it turns out Spot Conlon’s human after all!”</p><p>He sighed and looked up at her again dolefully. She gave him a hint of a smile and kept walking and he fell in step beside her.</p><p>“Come on, out with it. You’ve got to tell someone.”</p><p>“I… I’ve been…” He reached his hands behind his head, stretching them awkwardly. “Things have been… happening… that have made me feel some things like… things that are different. From normal.”</p><p>Rose sighed and gave him an unimpressed look. “You realise that means absolutely nothing to me, right? That was the most generic statement of ‘I’ve got a problem’ I may have ever heard.” What he didn’t need to know was that it had assuaged her fears that he knew about Race’s feelings for him. This, it seemed, was about his own feelings.</p><p>“But you have to <em> swear </em> you won’t tell anyone!” he burst suddenly. He was obviously desperate to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him, but he also didn’t trust her as much as he trusted Race. “You can’t tell Katherine, or Bumlets, or, oh god, you have to swear on your life you won’t say anything to Race.”</p><p>“Oh my god.” She was starting to think maybe the guy <em> did </em> have a crush on Race. “What is with people today? I swear, I won’t tell anyone.”</p><p>Spot stopped again and shoved his hands back in his pockets, staring up at the sky and taking a few deep breaths. Rose stopped a few steps in front of him and turned back to look at him. She furrowed her brow and put her arms out in question.</p><p>“What is it Spot?”</p><p>He continued to stare at the sky as he said, “I think I might not be like, a hundred per cent straight, like I thought.” There was a beat of silence and he darted his eyes to look at her before looking back at the sky and rocking back and forth on his heels a bit.</p><p>Rose’s mouth was hanging open, she realised this, but after everything she and Race had talked about this morning, she had never dreamed <em> this </em> information was waiting for her.</p><p>“Oh my god. What brought <em> this </em> on???” she yelled at him.</p><p>He looked up at her shyly, and she could see something she’d never seen in his eyes before: fear. Right. So that had been a dick move.</p><p>She sighed and stepped towards him, putting a hand on his arm. “Sorry Spot. You caught me off guard. That’s… it’s fine. I know you’re probably stressed and I obviously don’t know what’s made you think this, but whatever you’re thinking or feeling, it’s okay. And I’m glad you feel like you can trust me with something like this. Obviously, I have… experience I guess, with all of this, so whatever you need, if you have questions or… whatever. I’m here.”</p><p>He slowly let out a breath and actually looked properly at her again. “Thanks. I uh… it’s complicated? I don’t know. I’ve never really been attracted to any guys before, well, that’s not a hundred per cent true, but it hasn’t been like, a common occurrence I guess, and I just realised recently that I was… having feelings I guess? I don’t know what to call it, but there’s an attraction, and I just sort of realised or acknowledged it or whatever and I don’t know what it is or what’s happening, but I just, I needed to talk to someone and I didn’t know who else to talk to and I thought you might understand and I just…”</p><p>He was rambling and it was cute but she also realised he probably needed someone to stop him. “Spot.” He looked at her, biting his lip. She smiled. “It’s okay. I get it. Do you… you wanna skip yoga and go talk somewhere?”</p><p>He let out another deep breath. “No. I… I think some meditation would be really great now actually.”</p><p>She nodded slowly. “Okay, well let’s go to class, we’ve got about two minutes till it starts, and then we’ll talk afterwards, okay?” As she said it, she realised she’d made plans with Katherine and cursed her bad memory. She’d have to take a raincheck and Katherine would be pissed, but this was more important, and eventually Katherine would get that. Come to think of it, if she ended up being here all night talking over all this with Spot, which wasn’t out of the question when it came to Spot, she’d also have to reschedule those chapters that she hadn’t finished today. <em> Dammit. </em></p><p>“I’ll have to uh, rearrange some things, but I’m here for whatever you need.”</p><p>“I don’t… I don’t want to put you out Rose.” He obviously felt like this was something he <em> should </em> say rather than something he felt, because when Rose scrutinised his face, she could see a vulnerability there that only came out in the rarest of situations. Everything else could wait. Her friend needed her.</p><p>“Nope, it’s all good. Let’s get to yoga.”</p><p>He nodded and fell back into step beside her as they walked the extra block to their class. Damn, this had shaped up to be quite the day, Rose thought to herself. Maybe she <em> should </em> have been a therapist. Apparently she was good at it.</p><p>-</p><p>By the time they were done with their yoga session, they were both covered in sweat and looking forward to a cold beer on Spot’s roof. As they walked back to his apartment, Rose could see that he was slowly becoming more and more tense, anticipating the inevitable conversation they were going to have.</p><p>As they entered his building, she recognised his hunched shoulders and gaze at the ground for what they were – defensive measures. She took the trip of the three flights of stairs to remember back to what this was like for her and how best to respond. As Spot opened the door and slipped into his apartment, Rose made her move.</p><p>“Hey dude, you don’t have to freeze up around me,” she said, following him into the kitchen as he ducked his head into the fridge for beer. “Firstly, I don’t think badly or any differently of you because of this. This is a safe space. And secondly, we don’t have to talk about it. If you don’t want to say anything else to me, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t expect anything and I’m not going to say anything to anyone.”</p><p>He brought his head up from behind the fridge door to look at her. That vulnerability was in his eyes again. “I want to talk about it. I just… need a beer first. Or three.”</p><p>She grinned. “Yeah, I get that. Grab me one, I’ll meet you on the balcony. I’ve gotta make a couple calls.” He gave her a curt nod and she went to the lounge room as he settled himself on his small balcony.</p><p>Rose tackled the calls to her boss and the author she was working with first, because they were easily deterred by as simple an explanation as ‘family emergency’. Katherine was a more delicate matter.</p><p>“Are you on your way back?” Kath said instead of a greeting. Rose sucked in a breath between her teeth, which Katherine picked up on.</p><p>“Do not tell me you’re bailing on me,” she insisted, not even giving Rose a chance to respond.</p><p>“I’m sorry!” Rose said immediately. “I swear I have a good reason.”</p><p>“Well spit it out,” she said, clearly unimpressed.</p><p>“Spot’s going through… some stuff?” She knew the explanation wouldn’t satisfy her girlfriend, but there was nothing else she could say.</p><p>“Oh my gooooooodddd!” Kath whined. “Blow him off, talk to him tomorrow! I miss you. You’ve been working all week, and when you finally spent the night last night, you didn’t get back till after I was already in bed and I had to leave for work before you were even awake.”</p><p>“I woke up to say goodbye to you!” Rose protested.</p><p>“Like that counts.”</p><p>“I <em> promise </em> I’ll make it up to you Kath. I will. But I can’t tonight. Spot <em> really </em> needs me!” She sighed when Kath didn’t answer. “You know I wouldn’t do this if it weren’t important.”</p><p>“I know you love your boys Rose, but you’re not their therapist. And sometimes I really need you too.”</p><p>Katherine always had a way of putting into words exactly what Rose was thinking. But there was nothing for it. If she was the only person Spot would talk to about this, then she had to be there for him.</p><p>“I know. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. I’ll see you tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yeah, okay. Whatever.”</p><p>“I lo–” She heard the line cut out. “–ve you,” she finished with a sigh. As much as she hated to upset her, Katherine could wait till tomorrow.</p><p>When she got to the balcony, Spot was sitting with his legs dangling between two of the rails. She plopped herself beside him, dangling her own legs through and looking across to the sunset over the bridge. Spot’s bridge, he claimed. He handed her a beer without looking away from the sunset.</p><p>“Are you okay?” That was her number one priority, making sure he was coping, at least somewhat. When she’d come to the realisation that she was bisexual back before moving to New York, when all she’d known was religion and indoctrination, ‘okay’ hadn’t been a word in her vocabulary, much less ‘good’. And she wanted Spot to be good, but she’d settle for okay for now.</p><p>He sighed. “Yeah. It’s not as if it’s anything new amongst our friends.”</p><p>She put a hand on his knee and he looked at her, still a little distant. “That doesn’t mean anything Spot. Don’t put those kinds of expectations on yourself. It’s never easy, finding out new things about yourself. And… I know your parents raised you Catholic. My parents, well my mom and her husband, they’re Protestant. I get it. It’s <em> not </em> easy, and it’s okay <em> not </em> to be okay. I just want to know so I know the best way to help.”</p><p>He nodded at her and looked at the concrete between them, picking at a leaf by his leg. “I am okay, really. I mean, yeah, I was raised Catholic, but I let go of all that a long time ago. Way before… what happened.”</p><p>Rose nodded in acknowledgement. Spot had never liked discussing his parents’ untimely deaths, but she knew what he meant.</p><p>“Anyway, it’s not that,” he added. “The idea of, y’know, being attracted to guys, or <em> a </em> guy, doesn’t bother me really. It’s… new? Maybe? I don’t know. It snuck up on me, I guess, but it’s the <em> who </em> that’s bothering me.”</p><p>Rose was confused for a moment as she tried to follow his logic. “Oh,” she said as she caught on. “The person you’re attracted to you mean? The guy?”</p><p>He took another deep breath and nodded, still not looking her in the eye. Rose got a weird niggling idea in the back of her brain. This day was getting weirder by the minute.</p><p>“You seemed confused just now about whether it’s actually a new feeling or not,” she started. “And you said earlier, before yoga, that it’s not a hundred per cent true that you’ve never been attracted to a guy before.” Rose tried to gauge his reaction to her words, but he was still staring at the concrete and she couldn’t see his face enough to know. “So maybe you’ve felt this way for this person for a while and only just realised it?”</p><p>He shrugged and crushed the leaf between his fingers. “Maybe? I don’t know.”</p><p>She reached out to steady his hand and he looked up at her. “It’s okay Spot. I’m not judging you, I’m just trying to figure out where you’re at. I want to help. Whatever you need.”</p><p>He gave her a little smile, the first one since they’d left yoga, and she could feel him relax a little as he took another deep breath and let it leak out of him, taking some of the tension with it. “Yeah. I know. I guess I’ve just been… turning this over and over in my head, y’know?”</p><p>She laughed. “Oh, like you do with literally everything?”</p><p>He smirked and nudged her with his shoulder. “Fuck off.”</p><p>“I can leave, if you want,” she said, making a move to get up and giving him raised eyebrows. He rolled his eyes.</p><p>“Sit the fuck down, Ely. I’m not done.”</p><p>“Alright, <em> Conlon</em>, if that’s how it’s gonna be.” She laughed and settled back into her spot. “Seriously though, you’ve been thinking about this for a while?”</p><p>He shrugged again. “Yeah, off and on. I guess I never, uh, I never took it seriously before. But recently things have been… different? With this person I mean. And I just don’t know what to think anymore.”</p><p>“So… what you’re saying is, when you look back on memories with this guy, you think maybe you always had these feelings, but now you’re only just realising it? Because things have been weird between you?”</p><p>“Not weird,” he said, looking at her. “Just different.” He folded his hands in his lap. “It hasn’t been bad, or awkward or anything. I don’t know. I’ve been… getting a vibe? From him I mean. But yeah, I’ve known him a while and I guess I realised recently that I’m not sure if it’s ever been strictly platonic between us. On my side at least. But maybe I never realised? Because we’ve always just been friends.”</p><p>“Right,” Rose said, her brow furrowed. She was trying to follow all of this, but it seemed complicated. “So if you’ve been getting a vibe from this guy, what’s the issue? There’s no harm in experimenting a bit. I mean, we all went through that stage Spot, except maybe Kath. We all had to try some new things to figure out exactly what we thought about ourselves.”</p><p>Spot pursed his lips and sighed, looking out to the bridge again. The sun had nearly sunk completely below the horizon now, but it was lighting up the clouds above the bridge in purples and oranges. Gods, Rose loved the New York skyline.</p><p>“It’s Race,” Spot said, and it took Rose a second to pick up the thread of the conversation again.</p><p>“What, you think he’d be upset about it or something?” She wondered again if maybe he did know about Race’s crush on him and had been saving his best friend the embarrassment of bringing it up. “I’m sure if you were honest with him, he’d get it. Race figured out who he was before most of us, sure, but I know he remembers what it’s like to be confused about all this.” More than Spot could know, actually.</p><p>Spot sighed again and Rose watched as his shoulders slumped. He was silent for a while, twenty seconds or so, before he turned back to Rose, planting one foot back on the concrete and resting his elbow on his knee.</p><p>“Rose, it’s <em> Race</em>. Race is the guy.”</p><p>Rose’s brain absolutely short circuited at those words. What the <em> fuck </em> was she supposed to say now? Despite the fact that it would probably solve all their problems, she knew that Race would kill her for divulging his secret crush, even if they got married and spent the next eighty years together in blissed out happiness. In Race’s books, there was nothing worse than a broken promise.</p><p>She cursed her affinity for amateur therapy sessions.</p><p>“Fuck.”</p><p>She didn’t realise that she’d said it out loud till Spot snapped his finger in front of her face to get her attention and said, “Focus up Ely! That’s all you have to say??? ‘Fuck’?? No, you have to <em> help me </em> Rose. I can’t tell anyone else! I know you all make jokes behind our backs about the two of us, I’m not an idiot, but this is serious and I don’t know what to <em> do</em>! Besides Race, you are my best friend and I just… I don’t know what to do,” he repeated, sounding a little more broken the second time.</p><p>“Sorry,” she said, still trying to wrap her mind around this elephantine problem she’d suddenly been presented with. “And Race didn’t know about the jokes, so you’d be surprised.” Her brain still wasn’t working properly.</p><p>“What?” he said. “How do you know he doesn’t know?” He seemed confused, and she realised she’d just fucked up by mentioning something from her conversation with Race at brunch. She’d have to lie now.</p><p>She took a moment to collect herself. “I don’t know, I made a joke to him about it the other day and he didn’t know what I was talking about.”</p><p>“Oh.” Spot seemed genuinely floored by that.</p><p>“Back to the issue at hand. Um.”</p><p>He gave her an unimpressed tilt of the eyebrow. “You’re really killing this whole advice thing.”</p><p>“Sorry!” she insisted. “That was the last thing I expected. I mean, Race? You’ve known him for fifteen years! You’ve never had a moment where he had his shirt off and you thought, ‘Wow, look at what a nice chest Race has’?”</p><p>He groaned and rubbed his face with one hand. “We covered this already. Yes, maybe I have, but I never thought much of it, and now things are different. He’s been acting different.”</p><p><em> Yeah</em>, she thought. <em> Because he has a big ol’ crush on you and has probably been flirting non-stop! </em> She cursed herself for not having noticed the change in dynamic between the two of them. It was her job to see these things. She was using ‘job’ in the loosest sense of course, but it was a task she’d taken on herself, so it sort of counted.</p><p>What she actually said was, “Maybe you should talk to him about it.”</p><p>His eyes went wide. “Are you out of your fucking mind?? I can’t <em> say </em> anything to him. You can’t just… what, I’ll just go up to him and say, ‘By the way, now that we’ve been friends for fifteen years, I’ve decided I’m actually not that straight and I’m really into you, let’s make out’?”</p><p>She shrugged weakly. “Sure?” She was absolutely failing as a friend right now. “I mean, maybe not exactly like that. But. Well, what’s your plan otherwise?”</p><p>He looked absolutely devastated by this question. “That’s what <em> you </em> were supposed to help with!”</p><p>She took a deep breath and tried to forget that Race had also been picking up on these so-called ‘vibes’, so she could focus on what advice she’d give to Spot if she had no idea his feelings were very much reciprocated.</p><p>“Okay, so you don’t want to tell him,” she reasoned. “But do you think this is temporary? Because from what you’ve said, it sounds like maybe you’ve had <em> some </em> feelings for a while. And that now they’re getting stronger.”</p><p>“I don’t know man,” he said, throwing his hands up. “They’ve definitely been more… insistent I guess. The last few times I’ve seen him, it’s like, all I can think about. And… when we went swimming at the docks the other day, I may have been having some… <em> thoughts</em>.” He raised his eyebrows and widened his eyes to imply a very specific kind of ‘thought’.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Rose said, covering her mouth and trying not to laugh. He could see the amusement in her eyes regardless.</p><p>“Yeah yeah, it’s funny, whatever, I get it,” he said, rolling his eyes. “But I would just like to point out that it’s also <em> super </em> new for me and that has never happened and it freaked me out a bit. So be nice.”</p><p>She nodded and took a few moments to calm down and try to forget the mental image of Spot freaking out over getting an erection seeing Race without a shirt on, in swimming trunks. Wet. That was something to laugh over later, when she was alone and she could write it down for her not-novel.</p><p>“Okay okay, sorry. Just. The <em> mental image</em>.” She grinned and then clamped down on that thought. “Right. So the long term plan is to try to forget these feelings?”</p><p>He raised an eyebrow. “Do you think that’s best?”</p><p>“I…” Gods, she had absolutely no idea how to answer that question honestly without giving something away. “Maybe? It depends what you want. If you don’t feel strongly enough about him to go out on a limb and say something to him, then it’s best to try and forget it, right?” <em> Please say you </em> do <em> feel strongly enough about it to say something, pleeeaaaase. </em> Race would never forgive her for giving Spot advice like ‘get over him’ either. She couldn’t win here.</p><p>He sighed for the millionth time. “You’re probably right. I mean, it’s <em> Race</em>. What are the chances?” He rolled his eyes as if at his own silliness to hope for more.</p><p>Her brow furrowed in worry. “Spot. He’s your best friend. Don’t you think, even if it never occurred to him before, that he would take you seriously and give it a go if you asked?”</p><p>He looked at her in shock. “What, you think he <em> would</em>?”</p><p>She shrugged. She <em> knew </em> he would. “Maybe. Maybe it’s never occurred to him before to see you in that light, but maybe he’d like the idea if somebody brought it up.”</p><p>It was like a lightbulb had clicked on over his head. “<em>You </em> could be somebody!”</p><p>“What?” she said. “No! No I couldn’t!”</p><p>He nodded fervently, a smile spreading across his face. “Yeah you could! You could ask him about it. Or, I don’t know, make another joke about us and see what he says. Ask him if he’s ever had a crush on me, I don’t know. But you could say <em> something</em>, right?”</p><p>Shit. Shit shit shit. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, dude.” She knew that it was in fact a terrible idea, because she didn’t need to say anything to Race, she already knew how he felt. She just couldn’t pass that information on to Spot.</p><p>“Why not? Race tells you everything, it’s not as if he’d lie to you. And then you can tell me what he said.”</p><p>“Knowing Race, he’d never say anything without making me swear not to tell anyone else.” She gave him a bitter smile. “You and he are the same that way.”</p><p>Spot shrugged. “Just make it seem like a funny question. You don’t have to be all serious about it.”</p><p><em> Take the fucking hint, Conlon! </em> she wanted to scream at him. <em> He already made me swear not to tell you! </em> Gods, looked like she was dealing with a couple of born and bred idiots after all.</p><p>“I don’t know. I’ll think about it.” She wouldn’t, she already knew she wasn’t going to do it. Because she already knew how Race felt. “But hey, have you had any thoughts or… anything else for any other guys?”</p><p>Spot looked like he was thinking about it for a minute before he said, “Mm, maybe a couple times. But nothing… nothing extreme. And not often, no.”</p><p>“So, it’s like a… <em> Race </em> thing.” Gods, if she could make <em> Racesexual </em> a thing, her day would be made.</p><p>“Maybe? Or maybe I’m just pickier about guys? I don’t know. You’re kind of that way too, right?” He looked at her then with such earnestness in his eyes, all she wanted to do was answer every question he could possibly throw at her, to make it all seem easier. But she knew that was not a fix-all solution.</p><p>“Pickier about girls? Yeah, definitely. I’m attracted to more men than women, it’s a spectrum, y’know? There’s no right answer. And you don’t have to give yourself a label if you don’t want to. I call myself bisexual because it works for me, but not everybody’s like Race, with a perfect fifty-fifty split either way.”</p><p>Spot snorted into the mouth of his beer and said, “Does it count as a fifty-fifty split if you’re attracted to literally anything on two legs?”</p><p>Rose laughed and nudged him with her shoulder. “Well there you go, there’s your reason to come clean with him. By your own admission, he’s gotta be attracted to you, right?”</p><p>He rolled his eyes. “It was a joke, don’t get technical with me.” They sat in silence for a bit, sipping their beers as they both thought.</p><p>After a while he said, “How did you… what made you decide to call yourself bi?”</p><p>Rose shrugged and drank some more beer before she answered. “At some point, I realised I’d kissed more girls than I had guys, and I’d enjoyed it both ways. And that I was <em> way fucking repressed</em>.” She gave him a wry grin, which he returned between sips of beer. “I don’t know, at some point it started to feel like it fit who I was, who I wanted to be. But seriously, you really don’t have to pick a label. You know me, I like to define things, to have clear parameters. It worked for me, but it doesn’t have to be so clear cut for you. It’s just whatever works.”</p><p>He nodded, looking thoughtful. “Yeah, this is recent for me, y’know? I don’t think I’m ready to… <em> name </em> it.”</p><p>“That’s cool.” The thoughtful look on his face didn’t pass, so she said, “You okay? Anything else on your mind?” She knew coming out was always a big deal, even if you knew you had people to support you.</p><p>He slapped her knee and gave her a smile. “I’m great. Thank you. You always make this shit so easy.”</p><p>She grinned at that, because it was honestly the best thing he could have said in that moment. “I’m glad. That is what I’m here for. And if I can make this even a little easier for you, that’s what I wanna do.” She pulled him in for a hug then and she felt him take a deep breath and release it slowly before he pulled away.</p><p>“Wanna get way drunker than this and ask each other excruciatingly detailed questions about this shit that we’d never be able to get out sober?”</p><p>Rose laughed. “Abso-fucking-lutely.” She was a fucking vault. She could absolutely get drunk and not divulge Race’s secret. She’d done it before, she could do it now. <em> No telling Race’s secret, </em> she started repeating in her mind. It was her new mantra. “Y’know, Katherine’s already pissed at me, so it’s not like it matters if I stay the night, because she won’t want to see me before tomorrow anyway.”</p><p>“Shit, did you blow her off for me?” Spot looked guilty but she patted him on the back in comfort.</p><p>“It’s all good dude, this is important. She’ll get over it.”</p><p>His mouth twitched with a smile. “Thanks. Okay, more beer.”</p><p>Rose watched him walk back into the apartment and wondered what in hell she was going to do with all this new information. She was <em> so fucked</em>.</p><p>-</p><p>Rose had been wildly avoiding alone time with Race, because she knew he was too careful to bring up his crush in front of other people. But she was working from home today and Race never worried about interrupting her, unlike everyone else. She heard the front door open and shut and figured he was getting home from the gym, and she hoped he’d go have a shower before he bombarded her so she could quietly slip out to go work somewhere more public.</p><p>She wasn’t that lucky. He was standing in the office doorway mere moments after she’d heard the door.</p><p>“You’ve been avoiding me.”</p><p>“I have not!” she insisted, because she hadn’t really, she just hadn’t wanted to be alone with him.</p><p>“You have. I haven’t had one solo conversation with you since brunch last week.” He came into the room and leant against her desk. “You said something to Spot, didn’t you?”</p><p>“Oh my god, no! I would never do that Race!” He had no clue how tight lipped she’d been on the subject honestly, she deserved a medal. “I haven’t told anyone anything.”</p><p>“Then why is Spot acting weird around me?”</p><p><em> Because he loves you. </em> Not an accurate statement, but give the two of them a year. “Whatever it is, it’s got nothing to do with me. I swear.” Technically true, and she hadn’t said she didn’t know what exactly it was either. Somehow she was dancing around lying to both of them, which deserved <em> more </em> than a medal realistically.</p><p>Race collapsed in her armchair by the wall with a hefty sigh. “Shit. He knows. He’s figured it out or something. Am I that obvious?”</p><p><em> Yes</em>, Rose thought, but that wasn’t really the problem, so she didn’t say it. It wouldn’t help in this instance to worry Race with more noise about whether he was or was not acting entirely transparent about his feelings for Spot. The issue here was trying to get one of them to make a move. In fact, Rose had to keep reminding herself that was the <em> only </em> issue, because in some ways this whole situation didn’t seem real. Or in most ways maybe.</p><p>“Race, maybe it’s not about you.” Sort of true. It wasn’t because of how Race was acting at least. “You know Spot, he’s temperamental, it could be the warm weather for all I know.” It wasn’t, and Rose did know it actually, but <em> damn it </em> she couldn’t tell him.</p><p>“But he’s completely normal with everyone else! We haven’t hung out just the two of us in like, three weeks. I mean, he’s my best friend. I wouldn’t let my feelings get in the way of that. He can’t honestly think I would, right?”</p><p>“Right,” Rose said, for once telling the absolute truth. “I really don’t think it’s you Race. He’s been acting a little strange around me too, around everyone. He’s just, I don’t know, going through something. He’ll talk about it when he’s ready, like always.”</p><p>Race sighed again. So it was to be one of those mornings, was it? “I know. I just don’t get why he hasn’t said anything to me. I mean, unless it has something to do with me.” He picked up Rose’s coffee cup and took a swig, making a disgusted face shortly after registering what was in the mug. “Ugh, honestly Rose, drink your coffee like a real person.”</p><p>“I live in New York, I don’t have to,” she said with a haughty expression. “There are perhaps one or two other places in the world where I would gladly order a long black with no sugar and have it perfect. But no one makes coffee like Spot.”</p><p>“God, the two of you are astoundingly snobby these days,” Race said with a roll of his eyes. “Maybe that’s why he doesn’t want to hang out with me. I’m too <em> common </em> for him or something.”</p><p>Rose snorted in amusement and shoved Race’s shoulder. “Shut up. The word you’re looking for is <em> hipster </em> by the way.”</p><p>“And you don’t even live in Brooklyn. It’s disgusting Rose.”</p><p>“I’m supposed to be working, can this conversation be over now?”</p><p>Race looked put upon. “No! You have to tell me what to do.”</p><p>Rose sighed. More therapy it looked like. “Tell him how you feel and see what he does.”</p><p>Race was horrified at the mere implication judging by his face. “Are you kidding? And ruin fifteen years of friendship? Look, we’re not regular toxic masculine men–”</p><p>Rose interrupted with, “You’re not masculine men at all,” but Race ignored her.</p><p>“–who can’t be affectionate or say we love each other or whatever, but that doesn’t translate to effortlessly falling into a relationship. Not everyone is you and Kath.”</p><p>Rose narrowed her eyes. “Don’t bring me and Kath into this. Especially not if you’re going to sit there and imply everything’s perfect and we’ve never had any issues adjusting to girlfriends versus best friends. You know things aren’t great right now.”</p><p>Race raised an eyebrow in mild interest. “Who’d have thought that, after all that time you spent pining, you’d be the commitment-phobe in the relationship?”</p><p>Rose hit him lightly on his arm. “I am <em> not </em> a commitment-phobe!”</p><p>“Katherine’s barely spoken to you in three weeks, and you’re getting on with your life,” Race said, his tone indicating this was damning evidence that she was, in fact, a commitment-phobe.</p><p>“It’s her issue. I’ve explained to her what happened and apologised and she’s still holding it against me, so what am I supposed to do? Mope day and night till she forgives me?”</p><p>“You don’t have to malign her way of doing things while you do your own thing,” Race said. “She’s not asking too much Rose. She just wants to <em> see </em> you every once in a while.”</p><p>Rose rolled her eyes. “No, she wants to move in with me and I’ve told her thousands of times that I’m not ready for that. She won’t give it up.”</p><p>“How did we get to talking about you anyway? This was supposed to be about me.”</p><p>“Thanks for the sympathy,” she said, sarcasm dripping from each word. “Why have you been spending so much time with Kath anyway?”</p><p>“Why have <em> you </em> been spending so much time with Spot?” Well damn, how was she supposed to answer that?</p><p>She shrugged. “We’ve been… talking. He’s had something on his mind.”</p><p>“This is what I mean,” Race whined. “Why isn’t he talking to <em> me </em> about what’s on his mind?”</p><p>“It’s just more of a me-appropriate thing, okay? I’m sure he’ll talk to you about it eventually,” gods willing, “but I was there when he needed to talk about it, and I guess he doesn’t want to focus on it too much. Anyway, it’s not like it’s all we talk about. Most of the time Spot and I have spent together over the last couple weeks has included <em> snobby </em> hipster things that no one else wants to do with us anyway.”</p><p>“Shit,” Race said with a pout. “Why do you always have to talk me out of being annoyed?”</p><p>Rose laughed and grinned at Race. “I think you already know the answer to that, but essentially it comes down to there being no good reasons for you to ever be annoyed with anyone.”</p><p>“Shit.” He lay his head down on the table, his forehead thudding against the wood. “I’m fucked, aren’t I?”</p><p>Rose just laughed and didn’t answer. She didn’t have to, she wasn’t actually getting paid for this.</p><p>-</p><p>“So did you ever get a chance to talk to Race?” Rose and Spot were at their yoga class, which was chilled out enough that they often spent the time catching up quietly in the back row. The instructor didn’t mind as long as they weren’t disturbing anyone else.</p><p>Rose darted a glance at Spot. “About what?” She’d spoken to Race about several things in the last couple weeks, Spot included, but she wasn’t super sure what he was referring to right now.</p><p>“About me. Whether he’s ever had a crush on me or whatever.” Spot stared down at the floor and Rose could tell he would have shoved his hands in his pockets had he not been in a yoga pose, his universal symbol for ‘I’m uncomfortable’. He was clamming up.</p><p>Rose sighed. “I really don’t want to get in the middle of you guys. I mean, I’m close with both of you, and I just… I don’t like having to be the messenger or the mediator or whatever.” <em> I’m not your couples’ therapist</em>, she added in her mind.</p><p>“I don’t want you to like, take him a note I wrote,” Spot insisted, “this isn’t middle school. I just need… I need you to at least <em> ask</em>. It can be as casual as you want, whatever. Just… ask him. Please.”</p><p>Rose gave Spot an unimpressed look. “Don’t manipulate me with that pitiful face, you look like a drowned puppy. I’m not going to get in the middle of it, please don’t ask me to.”</p><p>“I just… it’s not going away. I can’t stop thinking about him.” Spot looked uncomfortable for a second, and Rose was pretty sure it wasn’t the yoga pose he was twisted into. “It’s constant. And I keep remembering stuff from our past and seeing it all in a completely new light. I don’t know if I can let it go.”</p><p>Rose closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Mindfulness, that’s what yoga was supposed to be about, right? “Then tell him yourself.”</p><p>Spot was silent for a good ten minutes, which brought them to the end of the class. As he was rolling his mat up, without looking at her, he said in hushed tones, “But what if it ruins everything?”</p><p>Rose put a hand on his arm to stop him. He looked at her. “Maybe it’s worth it.” Despite their problems, the one thing Rose would never regret was that she’d come clean with Katherine about her feelings. Even if it had been after Katherine had broached the subject. But the beauty of pushing Spot into this was that she knew how it was going to end. She’d seen both sides this time and she had no doubts about the two of them. They’d spent fifteen years as best friends, Race was Spot’s family, and vice versa. Not once had they judged each other or been unaccepting or petty or antagonistic, not in any lasting way. If the two of them couldn’t make it work, Rose would give up on love.</p><p>He didn’t say anything after that, just walked Rose to the train station in silence.</p><p>“Sorry I laid all this on you,” he said while they waited for her train.</p><p>“Don’t say that Spot. I’m glad you told me, and I want to help, but I just think… it’s you and <em> Race</em>. I know you guys, I know your friendship, the last thing I want to do is get in the middle of that and fuck it up somehow.”</p><p>Spot nodded. “I get it, I do. I’m sorry I kept asking. Maybe you’re right. Maybe it’s time to be upfront with him about this.”</p><p>“I honestly think that’s the best thing you can do.” She paused and almost bit her tongue, but if there was any time to drop hints, it was now, when Spot was on the precipice of a decision. “And I really think it’s gonna turn out better than you think.” Her train pulled up then so she gave Spot a hug and jumped on, watching him as the doors closed. He took a deep breath, shoved his hands in his pockets, relaxed his shoulders and began the walk back to his apartment.</p><p>-</p><p><em> Say something</em>, Spot mouthed at her as Race bought cotton candy. Rose rolled her eyes and dismissed the comment. They’d agreed last week that he was in charge of the ‘talk to Race about Spot’s feelings’ area of their friendship. But presented with a myriad of moments in which to do so, he was chickening out, bad.</p><p>But Rose had a plan. She was really and truly done being their free therapist, she’d have to start making them pay her soon if they didn’t stop. Although maybe the coffee counted as payment from Spot. Anyway, she was solving Spot’s problem, and that should make him happy at least. Eventually. After the initial awkwardness and confusion. And perhaps a touch of anger.</p><p>Spot made his way over to a bin to have a quick cigarette, so when Race turned around it was just Rose waiting. He saw Spot by the bin but left it. He offered some of his cotton candy to Rose. She took a puff and it melted in her mouth.</p><p>“So I don’t know how to act around him,” Race said out of the blue, darting a glance at Spot. “God, I even like watching him smoke. That’s so fucking gross.”</p><p>Rose laughed. “You smoke a cigar a week, you’re such a hypocrite.”</p><p>“Not in the middle of the day, at an amusement park. Where there are children around. And besides, cigars don’t give you lung cancer.”</p><p>“Right,” she responded with a snort. “Just mouth and throat cancer. Cool. So he’ll die of lung cancer and you’ll be in the bed next to him dying of throat cancer.”</p><p>Race sighed. “You say that like we’ll still be friends in however many years it takes to get there.”</p><p>“Firstly, you both smoke a lot, it could be next week.” She smirked and he rolled his eyes. “And secondly, maybe you’ll be more than friends. Regardless, you’ll be in beds next to each other, I have no doubt.”</p><p>“Stop getting my hopes up like that,” Race said as Spot stamped his butt out, threw it in the trash and walked back over to them. “Shh.”</p><p>Rose nearly laughed out loud. It wouldn’t have mattered if Spot had heard her.</p><p>“So ferris wheel?” Spot said, nabbing a bit of Race’s cotton candy and giving Rose a stern questioning face that he was honestly insane to think Race hadn’t seen.</p><p>They walked over to the ferris wheel and stood in line for about ten minutes before they finally got to the front of the line. As she’d planned, Rose pulled her phone out of her pocket right as the ride operator opened the gate for them.</p><p>“Damn it, it’s one of my authors, gotta deal with this. You guys go on without me.” She devoted herself to her phone for a moment to sell the bit.</p><p>“You sure?” Spot said, looking at her in concern.</p><p>“Yeah yeah, you guys go, I’m not crazy about ferris wheels anyway.” She felt like crossing her fingers for a second, like that would help. The ride operator motioned to her to wait while he set Race and Spot up in their carriage and indicated he’d let her out of the exit gate once he’d sent them on their way.</p><p>She stood there, attention on her phone to hold the pretense, but when she heard the operator say ‘okay’ and saw him press the button to move the ferris wheel along, she took a step closer to the two of them as they started to move upwards.</p><p>“This was all a ploy to force the two of you to be alone together for at least half an hour, because you both have huge crushes on each other and for some reason, instead of telling each other, you’ve both been treating me like your licensed therapist. Which I’m not by the way. Have a nice ferris wheel ride.”</p><p>And then, not even giving them a chance to respond or protest, she turned and walked out the exit gate.</p><p>-</p><p>Before they’d even gotten off the ferris wheel, she’d posted a blurry, indistinct photo of the two of them kissing in their carriage at the top of the wheel, to her Instagram. The caption said, ‘It fucking happened!!!!!!!’</p><p>She was taking a permanent break from keeping secrets and offering therapy. Never again.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just as a note, don't out people on Instagram. Rose does it because it makes for a poetic end to the story, but like, don't ever do it in real life, yeah? Hope you enjoyed.</p><p>There's more about Rose and Katherine in my brain if anybody wants it, such as an origin story of the two of them getting together, and also them dealing with the issues that arise in this story. It's less FanFic and more original though, so I mean, only if there's interest.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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